*Celebrating Lucy*

As it usually turns out, just when you think you're starting to get the hang of life and your child and your relationship, and like everything is finally turning into the future you'd been trying for, life throws you for a loop. Your perfect world is somewhat halted and another big change is coming, yet it's one you cannot physically prepare for, only words are available for 9 months. But at the end of those long, tiring months... comes a miracle. The blessing of life.

Finding out we were expecting Lucy was a very big surprise for us. We had talked about trying, but had decided we wanted another year between Joshua and his younger sibling. We wanted to try for a baby the fall after he turned 2, so that there would be 3 years between them, we felt this was a good distance and a good starting point for trying. But as you know, when you're busy making plans for your life, God always makes others, and boom... surprise. Joshua had just turned 1 that summer, and it was around the beginning of October when I suspected something was different. Knowing the "pregnant" feeling I felt all over with Joshua, I knew something was happening when I woke up that morning. I didn't want to alarm Chris, and I had done that already for the last 2 weeks by saying I thought I was pregnant, buying tests and having the "not pregnant" words show up, and then being gloomy. Yes, we had talked about waiting, but when there's the chance that it has happened all on its own, it's a little disappointing to know that that one slip up didn't involve making a child, it just was that, a slip up.

It was Friday morning. I had taken a test just two days before, on Wednesday. Wednesday said no. Friday morning I woke up and said "I have to take that other test, I just don't feel myself."... Stupid me, I waited until Chris was gone to work, and then sat in the bathroom for over an hour debating weither or not I'd actually take the test. Finally, I did. Sitting there, waiting, watching the clock, I finally walked away and did dishes. During this 10 minutes, a million things crossed my mind. What would Joshua think? Would he be mad at us? Would he be a good older brother? I mean, I'm sure he would, but what if... We would have to move, there's no way I can cram both kids into one of these bedrooms. I'd have to find a better job, and fast. I was working as a hostess at Ruby Tuesdays, but I'd just started. I was taking a CNA class, but I wouldn't be certified until late December, which means it would take til sometime in January to put me on the state registry. And at that point, would I want to be doing CNA work as a pregnant mother? The thoughts that crossed my mind in that 10 minute time seem enough to fill a book! As I wandered back to the bathroom, I almost didn't look at the test, I didn't want to be disappointed as I had been just 2 days before, and a week before that. But I wasn't. To my surprise there were 2 pink lines. two! I was pregnant! We were going to have a baby... Oh no, we. I have to call Chris.

I sent him a picture of the test. I'm so mean, I know. I should have called and called and called until he answered. Instead I sent him a picture. He called me back, and told me what I expected "I want to be there when you take another test. Please don't tell anyone til we go to the doctors..." He was so scared it wasn't true. Yet he really was so scared that it was. What were we going to do with 2 children?! Joshua drove us crazy as it was then! So we went to the store. He bought me 5 tests, all the kind that say "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant", no lines to mess with. He wanted it in words, as simple as could be. We took the tests and every single one said, as I had suspected, "Pregnant". We made an appointment with my doctor for a referral, and from there we began the "do we tell, or do we wait" thought process. Little did he know, I had already told his sister, Meghann. I had to tell someone when I was doing it. I had to, I had no choice. And I knew she'd keep it a secret for me until we were ready. And she did.

When we finally told our parents they were ecstatic. This would be my parents second grandchild, only to Joshua who was the first. Christopher's parents, however, were seasoned grandparents. Meghann had 2 children, Sophia and Cedric, with a third, baby Liam, due in January. So ours would be #5, and probably the final. My father and step-mother however, ours would be their 3rd. My sister and I had been pregnant at the same time the first time, delivering only 10 hours apart. Our children just barely have seperate birthdays, Joshua being born 6/24/2008 at 227 PM and Bella Rose being born 6/25/2008 at 12:14(ish) AM. I was in recovery all night as my father kept running back and forth with news about Stephanie and her progress. I was so happy we got to share those first moments of mommy-hood together, and that our first few years were very similar. So as you would expect, I was thrilled to find out just a few weeks later that Stephanie and her husband were ALSO expecting number 2! Just this time their due dates were exactly a month apart, and we expected them to stand that way. We got to go through the journey again, together.

Fast forward to February. We invited not only our little Joshua, but Chris's parents with us to the "sex finding" ultrasound, as my mother had gone to the first, and his sister Meghann was with us via cell phone. As we're watching every body part be illuminated on the screen, first legs and toes, then arms and hands, a belly, a silly bum, a head, a nose, ears, eyes.. I felt just as taken back on this moment as I did when I first saw Joshua on that screen. It felt like it was just yesterday that I saw his tiny hands waving at me as he proudly showed off his manhood. This one was shy, the baby just didn't want to turn the right way, but when it did, and it stuck it's cute little butt up in the air, we saw... it was missing something vital to make it another little Joshua. It was a girl. Chris exclaimed "Lucy!"... we were all in tears at this point (except Joshua, he was bored now, we'd been cooped up in this little tiny room for far too long according to him!) I thought when I found out Joshua was a boy, that I would never feel that way again. But I did. Lucy, a little girl, Lucy Meghann. It was perfect.

From that point on, we scheduled Lucy's birth. June 28th, 2010 she would arrive. Since Joshua was a C-Section, I had my option to either attempt a natural labor, or go ahead and schedule another C-Section for repeat, and that it was we opted for. I'd been through it all, I'd recovered, and I'd seemed just fine with number 1, and that one was an emergency. I thought for sure I'd be perfect with one that was planned! Oh boy...

Sunday, June 27th, 2010. We dropped Joshua off at my mothers for the night. We figured it'd be easier to let him have a normal nights sleep, a normal wake up pattern, and then he could come to the hospital with my mom when it was time. Chris and I slept like babies. I thought for sure I'd be SO nervous and so scared, but I was wrong. I was ready. It'd for sure been a LONG 9 months. I was 4 days shy of my due date. We expected Lucy to come out like Joshua, a whopping 7 lbs 10.4 oz, which actually seemed big to me. I was only 5lbs 10 oz when I was born, so I was tiny. But Joshua, he was normal. So we got to the hospital Monday morning, and I should have known it'd be a long complicated day from the start. I got nervous, they said they didn't have me written down to be there til 1230, but my doctor specifically had said 3 days ago to be there at 8, and expect a baby by 10! I was shocked. Regardless, they took me right in. The nurses made me feel so comfortable, made sure I had everything I needed, and didn't rush me at all. I thought this would be better than the emergency, rushed feeling of Joshua's birth but again, I was wrong. With it being planned, the OR team had time to take their time, to relax a bit mentally before we went in. I had my IV, I had taken my medicine and drank all the disgusting stuff they ask you to drink, and now here we are, just sitting in pre-op like a couple of fools. I started crying, I cried my eyes out. I told Chris I had changed my mind, I didn't want to do this anymore, I wanted a normal birth. He tried to comfort me but I was a mess, I was beyond controlable at this point. The doctor came in, bless her heart, she tried as well, but I was just an utter mess! I couldn't imagine why I was doing this to myself, going under the knife willingly! Where was my head! But all it took was for them to tell me what would be here in just a short while to calm down.. My Lucy. My little Lucy Meghann. So in we went. It seemed like an eternity for them to get me settled on the COLD, HARD bed and get the spinal in my back and get Chris back in the room. He honestly thought they'd forgotten about him! I thought so too, I just wanted him holding my hand. and he did. He sat there and talked me through every cut, through every tug and pull and shove. He was amazing. For someone who hates the thought of blood and needles and everything else involved, he did amazing. He sat by my side and supported me, and our daughter, in a way I'd never imagined. Chris was my soul mate, my forever, my future, my life. I knew this looking into his eyes that day. I'd never seen him so happy, Lucy was his baby girl, his daughter, his life. He showed it that day.

Finally, Lucy was here. all 6lbs 2 oz of her. She was tiny! When they first handed me the blanket so I could nurse her, I asked if there was even a baby in there, she was so small! I couldn't get my head around it. But she was perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes, and a full head of hair, and a set of lungs that would make you cry! She was perfect! When I was finally brought back upstairs to LND from recovery, Joshua came running up the hallway to greet me "Mama! Lucy's here! She's not in your belly anymore! And you're here! I love you mama!"... I cried. He broke my heart. He loved his sister already, and he still loved me even though I brought her into this world to torment him. It'll only be a matter of years before he becomes her slave, and she bosses him around like we know she will,but until then, we relish in the times we catch him kissing her, holding her hand, rolling her over, burping her or even simply saying "I need to hold Lucy, I love her..."

My kids are my life. My angels. My everything. I'd do this a million times if I didn't have to deal with the pregnant part, but the outcome is worth it. I love this crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life.

*Loving Joshua*

Since Lucy was born 4 months ago, I've grown to appreciate and love my relationship with Joshua a million times over. While all we have to do to make Lucy happy and stop crying is bring Chris into the room, I realize now how he once felt with Joshua doing the same for me. It's been a magical journey from start to finish, with many bumps along the road, but it's still been a miracle for me. It all started after a long, 6 hour drive home from Vermont...

When I was 16, I was told I would never be able to have children. I suffered from severe endometriosis. I had tried many forms of birth control to try to adjust my situation and had had many surgical procedures done to try to repair and minimize damage, but nothing stopped or slowed the process. I was heartbroken, but by the time all of this came around, I was accepting of the situation and would deal with my wanting children when the time came in the future. Fast forward 4 years... I remember sitting in the bathroom, crying my eyes out, on the phone with my dear friend Taryn Denoncour. She wanted nothing more than to be right there by my side, holding my hand, but being in Orono over an hour ago, a phone call had to do. I clutched that test and told her how scared I was to even go to the bathroom, let alone look at the results. But I knew I had to, I knew life had to change one way or another regardless of the outcome. I was starting a new job the next day. I had just gotten out of a relationship not 8 hours before knowing that something like this could happen. Yet I was anxious in ways I couldn't explain. Seeing that "Pregnant" mark was something that caught me off guard. I thought, well, maybe I could be... but I never imagined it would actually come out a yes, yes Katie, you are going to be a mother. I cried. I cried myself to sleep. I cried all morning getting ready for my first day at work. I had to be there at 11. Before I could go to work, I needed to stop at the local Family Planning office, where my friends mother worked, to get tested for sure by a professional. I was scared, but I knew that the outcome wasn't going to change from what it was 8 hours before. I got my conformation, told them I planned on keeping the baby, and headed for my moms work. I sat in the parking lot writing a letter to my father, I knew there was no way I could tell him to his face what I had done. I was 20. Single. Living with my mother, and for another 2 hours, unemployed. Until I began work at 11 am that morning I did not have a job according to the US Government. I was so scared.

My mom left her teller post and came into the conference room and I broke down. I remember the look on her face as she said "Katie... are you sure? Are you for real? You mean it?"... and then she broke down. My mother had never told me she loved me in such kind and understanding words, and in such a meaningful way. She said she'd do whatever I needed her to do, and that we would do this together, and we would get through it and we could discuss more over dinner that night. She knew I needed to get to work, and I knew she needed to get through her day. If I had stayed any longer at that point neither one of us would have made it through that day. So off I went... my father was next. I went inside to talk to him, and had a normal conversation, the entire time wondering "does he see a difference in his baby girl? do I look different to him?"... odd, I know, but he's my daddy and he has always known when something is wrong, or different, or changing. When I left, I kissed him and hugged him, and handed him my note. I asked him not to read it til his lunch break, and he promised. I left in tears, and arrived to my first day of work a mess, but I made it. I received a phone call from my dad on his lunch break, but I was in training. His message was a mess of emotions, tears, and I love you's. My parents hadn't ever come together for anything in my childhood, but I knew that for this little baby, this tiny being inside of me, they would bond stronger than before, and help me. They both wanted to know who to kill first, but then after a few moments of "this isn't something we can change" thoughts, they took responsibility for my faults and supported me. What I got that day from my parents was something I had needed my entire life, and was more than enthusiastic to receive at that point.

It was a rough road. A really rough road. This was October. By Thanksgiving morning/all day/night sickness had set in, and Christmas was an utter nightmare. Half of my family wanted to help, and half was ashamed of me. I was unwed, uneducated, and hardly employed. I had to leave my new job halfway through my training for recovery from the sever morning sickness, and eventually rejoined the company in January. The end of that month brought a milestone I will never forget.

Along with my mother and my next door neighbor Tammy, I geared up for my sex finding ultra sound. I was so nervous, but had picked out my names and was certain I'd be happy either way. Joshua Joseph, or Sierra Lee. I was ready. I remember sitting in that room watching the screen for over half an hour before the tech finally uttered "Well, would you like to know what you're having?"... I almost said no! Can you believe that? haha... so I shook my head, tears streaming down my face because I had spent the last 30 minutes staring at that child, arms, legs, heart beating, head, nose, toes, fingers... and finally, a penis. A baby boy. My Joshua Joseph. Until his birth, this became the best day of my life.

My due date was always estimated at June 19, 2008. One of my best friends birthdays is that day, and we thought it was perfect. The closer I got, the more anxious I was. I couldn't believe I was going to be a mother. To have my own little boy, a baby, a joy, a responsibility like no other, but I was beyond ready. A few months before Joshua was born I got sick again, and couldn't work. I was out of work for 2 months starting in late April, and was soaking up the time sleeping, sorting through baby gifts, and readying myself, our home, and my life for my son. My due date came and went. 5 days later I had an ultrasound appointment to make sure everything was going fine. The rest of that day feels like 10 minutes to me, because everything happened so fast.

I was taken out of the ultrasound room and into a waiting room. The doctor came in and said "Well Katie, are you ready to have this baby?"... I was shocked. In awe. Surprised. Taken back. Any way you put it, I was beside myself. I was not ready for this! I was rushed to the hospital and taken straight into Labor and Delivery, hooked up to monitors, blood drawn, IV set, and sent down to the OR before you could say "hocus pocus!"... To make my moments in the OR go a little smoother, I got lucky. My mothers cousin, Susie, was working that day down in the OR and she never left my side. Through the spinal, the needles, the blood, the pain, the tears, she was right by my side... with camera in hand. I have some amazing pictures from Joshua's birth that some people just don't get. I have the memories in photo form, because I know I was way too out of it for any of the memories to stay in my mind. I fell asleep shortly after Joshua was delivered and sent back upstairs with my mother. What felt like days was actually less than 2 hours before I got to hold my little angel, go back upstairs, and see my entire smiling family waiting for me with open arms ready and willing to accept Joshua into their less than perfect world.

I brought that little bugger into the world not knowing what I'd get out of it, but over the last 2 1/2 years, my life has not only changed but improved drastically. Joshua continues to amaze me every single day. Right now he's walking around with "daddy's" hat on watching baseball playoffs and naming his colors. He snuggles with me at bedtime, kisses me every chance he gets, and loves to tell me "I love you mommy." He breaks my heart and puts it back together with a smile. He is a blessing, and I wouldn't have had it any other way!

Our Lucy Meghann...

The light of my life. Our daughter is a beautiful, perfect, loving little girl that has changed our lives in so many ways in only 2 months! On Monday, June 28th and 9:35 AM she graced us with her presence and it has been strong ever since. The moment I laid eyes on her I knew we had gotten ourselves into something deeper than we could all handle! When they brought her upstairs with Chris to see Joshua and the rest of our families, he fell in love as well. I never imagined that Joshua would accept, love and care for his sister so quickly and so well, that it has almost taken me by surprise how much I can count on him for assistance. At just 2 years old, he has shown me so much strength and growth in himself, and so much love and understanding for this new addition to our family. He loves her, and she loves him, and it's so obvious it kills me sometimes! He is always needing to "hooooolllddd" her and "give Ucy a bubba" and help change diapers and every last thing he wants to be a part of, weither it's big or small, and it's made our life so perfect and it's made the adjustment so much better than we ever imagined!

Since Lucy was born our lives have taken a change but only for the better for all of us. Chris made the decision to go back to school, and begins classes next Monday online. He's taking 2 courses a semester and with what he had for schooling in Utah and Idaho, should be finished quicker than someone starting from scratch. I couldn't be more proud of him for making this choice for our lives and for our family, and I am going to do all I can to help support his decision and make sure he is successful at it. He is going to continue to work full time at T-Mobile and while we know this might be a struggle at times, it will always be worth it in the end. Along with that, I have gotten a job as well. After going back to school while I was pregnant with Lucy to get my CNA, I have finally decided to put it to good use. I begin work THIS Monday at Lakewood in Waterville and while my training will be daily for 3 weeks, after that I go to part time overnights working 16 hours a week. so 2 nights a week I'm gone during the hours the children are asleep, otherwise, I am home with them. It makes life seem so perfect and it is something that actually works for us for the time being. I'm sure once the kids are old enough for school I will want a daytime job so I'm home when they are and I am able to go to sporting and school events, but for now it's the best option for us and is one we are all content with.

The last 2 months have been amazing to say the least. Being able to spend every single day with Lucy Meghann and Joshua Joseph has made me realize that being a mom really was something I was meant to experience and I couldn't be happier about that way it has turned out. We truly are blessed with the most amazing children, ever.

Much love and blessings to all for wonderful second half of the year <3

A Lot of Meaningless Comments.

This blog is going to have nothing to do with our growing family, because at the moment, I'm online reading my gossip pages and some things never cease to amaze me.

I clicked on a link about Tiger Woods' handlers being mad at him, because he did something without his wife and kids with him, and I was amazed at what I read. I thought the second I clicked it it would be this terrible story about how he went out and ended up having a walk of shame [or some random bimbo did] the next morning from a hotel room. But no, Tiger went out to a concert, and enjoyed himself, alone, and spent time with the band backstage after. Wow, big surprise, superstar millionaires spending time together, am I supposed to be shocked by this? The article states Elin was back home in Sweden with the kids and her family, where she also stated they would be spending most of the summer. Instead of trying to make this process easier for the kids and the family unit itself, she's packed up and shipped off to another country to run away from the issues that are looming at home. I realize Tiger made a mistake in his marriage, and that he did commit adultry and has broken up his family, but making it even harder on those poor children is worse. They deserve to see their father and he deserves to have them nearby, especially while all he is doing right now is trying to get back out there and earn a living to be able to support those kids and that wife, who will soon be his ex-wife and no doubt will earn more money in child support every month than she would if she got a real job anytime soon. It's just a shame to see his name continue to be dragged through the mud and left out to dry. How many men cheat on their wives every single day and end up leaving them and making huge mistakes and no one cares about that? Just because he's famous doesn't mean we should treat him any differently. Let him live, he's trying to get his life back because as much as everything was taken from Elin in his mistake, he took that life from himself as well. It will be a while before he can look at himself the same again, if that day ever comes, we at least owe him the decency of respect and privacy.

phew. okay.

Times flyin' by, movin' so fast...

"the greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws differences and mistakes, yet still loves everything about you"

I don't know how I got so lucky. Every day I wake up to a beautiful, kind, loving, caring, growing, perfect child. And then I turn to my other side, and there's my amazing, wonderful, supportive, giving, loving sweetheart. And then I look down, and get the "Hey mom, what about me?" kick from inside my belly, and realize that our family is almost perfect. Only a few more months and Miss Lucy Meghann Hitchings will grace us with her presence, and life will never be the same. I knew the moment I met Chris that my life was going to change in big ways because of him, but I never imagined that it could ever possibly in a million years come to this. Through everything, he has been my best friend, my shoulder, my angel, my support system, simply my everything, and I really am blessed to have him as my other half.

Joshua is almost 2. I cannot grasp this yet. How did this happen? Where did the last 2 years go? He amazes me every single day. He's been such a good baby, such an inspiration to me every single day. He gives me the most amazing hugs, and his sloppy kisses are TO DIE FOR! Every day I wake up I ask myself how I honestly got so lucky. I know every parent says this about their children, but I can't begin to explain how much I mean this. He's changed my life in ways I could never explain to someone who didn't know me before he was born. I honestly feel like I'm finally on the right track, like nothing can really go wrong from here.

So, sometime in the next 3 months Miss Lucy will be here. And then there will be 4. 2 and 2. Us and the kids. It's such a strange concept, but it the most amazing, exciting feeling I've ever had!!! :)

Baby Madness!

Well! If this isn't a great start to our fall/winter, I don't know what is! On Friday, October 23, Christopher and I found out that in late June / early July, we are going to make Joshua a big brother!!! We couldn't be more excited about this addition to our little family, and are anxious for the time to fly. We've told just about everyone in our families, and now it's just a matter of time before our little bundle of joy comes into the world. We are looking more seriously at moving now, because obviously we'll need more space, but that can wait til spring!

So there's our news, thanks for all the well wishes everyone!

Much Love!

Mid October... SNOW?

this one's a little late, camp with the Hitchings family during the week before Jamie's wedding! Joshua had just been swimming with Auntie Em and Uncle Matt!

So apparently it snowed in parts of Maine yesterday, just didn't hit us, which is odd. It also snowed like crazy in Foxboro, MA during the Patriots game! Well, It's almost Halloween, I don't know where the time has gone!

Joshua is growing SO quickly, we took him to the Apple Farm with Chris's dad, and we had such a good time!


And he's learned so much on his own. At the last doctors appointment [15 month checkup] he was weighing in at 23 lbs (kinda stuck right there for the last 5 months, haha), 29 3/4 inches tall, and has the vocabulary of a 2 year old! he is almost forming somewhat sentences to get his points across. He knows his animals and can count 1 and 2, we're working on getting it up to 5! He knows what his favorites are, and he loves his daddy time!


Just another one of those pictures that makes me realize how BLESSED we are to have Christopher as a part of our lives, and how much of a responsibility Joshua was yet he took it head on with no regrets and no second thoughts... We love him, dearly, and are thrilled we get to share all of our life changing experiences with him!

Field Hockey is just about over, and I just recently started working at Ruby Tuesday's as a Host to get through the Holiday's with some extra cash! My class is going really well, we're on week 3 right now, and next week we start Clinical! EEK! I'm not sure where the time went for that either, but Wednesday the 28th of October is my first day of clinical at Lakewood! I'm excited because it means I'm that much closer to being OUT of school and finally having my CNA and being able to get a position that is more comforting and certain than anything else.

We've been looking around at apartments and houses, but we decided to just stick it out through the winter in our cozy little one in Skowhegan. It makes the most sense lately, we found a great babysitter for Joshua now that I'm back to work, and Rick & Rachel are right across the river in an emergency... I think things will fall into place perfectly when we're ready in the spring :)

Well, Life is about to get thoroughly exciting and ridiculously busy! But I wouldn't want it any other way, I love our life when it's fast paced and moving at it's own speed!! Here goes!

August 24 is the first day of College Field Hockey Pre-Season. Not only is it that, but it's my first official day as the Assistant Field Hockey Coach at Thomas College!!!! Yes, for sure. I stumbled into this position, and am already in love even though season hasn't even started yet. I've looked at the roster, read up on last year, and I am beyond excited for day 1! My fellow coaches, head coach Andrea Thebarge and Assistant Erin Whitish are experts at the game, and we all hold our own special skills and talents that will help this team succeed! I'm beyond thrilled that Andrea chose me to help her lead this team this year, and I cannot wait to start helping them grow and learn! I'm pumped to work with the goalies, and to help train them to be the best they can be! Field hockey has always been my passion, and I'm thrilled I get to help others who love the game just as much!!

Then, in the beginning of October, I will be taking on yet another challenge! My wonderfully generous in-laws, Rick & Rachel, have chosen to support me financially in going back to school - to become a CNA! The course is only 2 months, so that makes it do-able and affordable! I was surprised when Chris told me his parents wanted to help us, then overall told me they wanted to pay for the course all together. I'm so grateful for all they do for Joshua & I, and this unexpected gift is a savior. By Christmas time I will be a certified nursing assistant, and hopefully I will have a job in one of the local hospitals by January of 2010! We do our training and clinical hours in a local nursing home, and will have the opportunity to work in Lakewood after graduation from the class, but I think I may opt to find a hospital job, it wont be as depressing as a nursing home. But oh well, either way, life is starting to turn around and look up for us!!!

Thank you, God, for giving me the strength to carry on through the tough times we have had!! We are a very lucky, strong, close, supportive, loving family and I wouldn't have it any other way -- ever!!!

Camping -- Vermont 2009

Well, we took Joshua on his very first ever camping trip! Sunday, July 26th we headed out the door around 8 AM and were en route to Vermont! It was a really fun trip! Joshua was awake the entire way to Erroll, where we stopped to get snacks at the store and Joshua played with a little puppy! Back in the car we went, and finally stopped for a little sight seeing in Dixville Notch, New Hampshire. It's beautiful!! The Balsams are amazing, beautiful, and peaceful. It it so great to look at, so m
uch going on.

Back in the car we went, Joshua eventually fell asleep after this, and until we got to Island Pond, Vermont. It was a nice, peaceful part of the drive just getting to relax. From there we stopped in Newport to grab some lunch. We stopped just outside of Richford to take some pictures into the Valley . Our final stop before Carmi was Enosburg to get groceries and ice for camp, and then we were at Lake Carmi! It's amazing, I love it, it's beautiful, and it's so much fun. And Joshua loved it too!!! We had a perfect little campsite, Joshua loved watching the ducks swimming in the water, and our cabin was beautiful.


I almost Forgot how beautiful Lake Carmi is at night. Sunset it perfect over the lake.


The day we left we spent a few hours in Burlington. We walked Church Street for a few hours, had lunch with Kyle at her Burton Office, and had lunch at TGI Friday's as a family before we hit the road. Joshua had a great time, and I think the pictures show! He's a blessing!! We are so lucky to have the most amazing baby!!!

Joshua Turns 1

I cannot believe it's been a year since my little boy came into this world :) I just want to thank EVERYONE who was in attendance at his party this past weekend at Rick & Rachel's! We had a blast, and as we know, before we know it Meghann will be popping out little Pony-Tail Coconut into this world and we'll have ANOTHER little baby to celebrate with, on top of Shea's and Kel's that were born last month!! Pictures are coming, give daddy some time to upload them :)

June, the beginning.

Well, as of the first week of June we have 3 new babies in the family, and ONE more on the way :)

Shea & Kellie had their baby girls a day apart, and they are BEAUTIFUL!!! Shea had Reagan first, on Saturday afternoon around 4 pm! She was perfect and precious and I cannot wait for Jamie's wedding so I can snuggle her!! Kellie had Eliana on Sunday around 430 pm! She is so cute and loved it's not even funny, Addison looks at her with adoring eyes and the pictures are only the beginning of the amount of love he's got for his little baby sis!! And just over 2 weeks ago, Sarah, Shea's older sister, had her baby too!! I'm so excited and blessed to be a part of this loving, growing, caring, supportive family!! Love you, Shea, Kellie, Justin, Addison and new babies!!!

Okay, and the one on the way is... MEGGLES!!! She is pregnant with #3! And Sophie and Cedric are soooo excited it's silly! And me, well, I CANNOT WAIT!!! I love all the babies this beautiful family is blessed with!! Now I really cannot wait for the wedding and the holiday season to come back around so we can have more baby time!!

I volunteered at the Special Olympics Summer Games in Orono this past weekend with a few girls from my work, and I am beat. Those athletes have to be some of the best mannered athletes in the world. I've never seen someone be so happy to come in 7th place, just to get a ribbon. It breaks my heart to remember how angry I'd get not coming in first all the time. It really shows you a lot when you are involved in something of that sort. I am exhausted, but it was well worth it. The sun burn I could have done without though, but the memories will last forever!!!

is it really almost June?...

**Joshua & Mommy at York Beach with aunty Beps!

I could list a million reasons why Joshua, being 11 months old, and passed out sprawled across mine and Chris's pillows right now, is NOT a cute picture... but I can think of some much more interesting reasons why it's adorable :)

reason a: he picked out some cute jammies tonight. A shark t-shirt, and puppy pants. He's so special. The other day, he brought me a blue and white striped sock, and a black puma sock, and wanted to wear them, together. He's my little ham!!!

reason b: we shared an ice cream earlier, and that made my day. My little boy loves cookie dough blizzards ALMOST as much as mommy does!!

reason c: he was so well behaved in the tubby tonight while I sorted laundry on the bathroom floor. Watching him splish and spash and play with his toys in the water is so entertaining!! he's a riot!!

reason d: after his tubby, he helped me sort the clean laundry and put it away! I told him to "put his laundry basket in his room" and he pushed it over there!! He's a genius I swear!!!!!! I love it!

and finally, reason E.... he fell asleep in my arms, with a smile on his face and binky half out :) I love my little boy! We are so blessed to have such a smart, healthy, adorable baby. And I am so blessed to have such a wonderfully, amazing, perfect, kind, caring, loving, supportive hubby! Chris is my world, and everyday is just yet another treat for our family!! It's perfect, and I couldn't ask for anything more!!

Memorial Day weekend was a blast! Meg & Jared were up with Sophie & Cedric, so we splent PLENTY of time with them! I finally found a job I am in love with! I work at a Credit Union [just like Auntie Sage!] in Augusta and it's a blast! We had a big BBQ Memorial Day, Dan & Jess came up with their little girls, Ted & Sage came over with Owen, and Grandma and Grampa Steward came down for the fun! We always have a blast when we all get together! Next get together is Joshua's first birthday party at Rick & Rachels!! I can't wait!! I love my new family!!



OH YAH!!! And Meg & Jared are FINALLY adding to their family... baby #3 to be welcomed to the world in January 2010!!!

a fathers love.

cuddlin' on the couchie pie at bedtime!

"anyone can be a father, it takes a REAL man to be a DAD"

Honestly, watching these two together, you'd never know Christopher wasn't Joshua's "father", but you can certainly tell why "dada" was his first word... and not to Jason. Christopher amazes me everyday with his strengths and qualities when it comes to parenting, a thing that just a year ago he would say to me daily "reason number 029384 why Chris is never having kids"... thank goodness he found the right mommy, and right baby :) We love you very much daddy!!

tubby time!
on lunch at work
at mimi & papas, Chris's parents
in the beginning... when he was "uncle Chris" and "mommy's best friend"
at mimi and papas again!

What?! February is over?!

Oh lord! How did this month fly by soooo fast? Seriously, wasn't it just the beginning of February and I was writing? I thought so. Gosh. So this month has been pretty great, I guess everything is just going to get better in our life huh? Things haven't seemed to get worse at all and I'm pretty damn happy about that! Well, happy about all of it except my little brat of an 8 month old son making BOTH mommy & daddy super sick in the last week [ oh well, it's what we get for open mouthed kisses and co-sleeping on occasion!] but who could resist a face so sweet and kissable?!?!?

Joshuawith Mimi&PapaMommy & Daddy!

You bet not us! haha. We love his kisses, his hugs, his clingy-ness and his cute little "bum leg" crawl! every part of it is great! haha he has come to amaze us in ways we never thought possible. There is a certain love you never really find until your a parent, and I honestly think that until you find that love, you can never love another being, even your soul mate and significant other, the way we should love one another. I thought I was falling in love with Chris when I was still pregnant, but it took until I had had Joshua, taken a good look at my life, realized how amazing motherhood is, and then I fell in love with Christopher the way he deserves. It's amazing what a child can do to you!

So, income taxes came in. Finally. Thank God. And then the money was gone. After about 3/4 of it went to bills, Chris and I kinda splurged on some fun stuff for us, a couple new jackets, some new coach sunglasses for me, a few months of car payments set aside, money in savings, and some toys for Joshua of course! and we took my brother out to lunch, to Portland and Freeport and treated him to some gifts... It was worth all of it! We have such joy in our lives spending time with loved ones, getting to spend an entire Sunday with my baby brother was a great, relaxing trip and we would do it every Sunday if we could! Joshua's been at my mothers since last night, she's keeping him double this weekend so Chris & I can try to relax and get over this illness that seems to be kicking both of our bums... his way of "getting better" is thoroughly enjoying Killzone 2 and Fear 2. He's a big video game freak. And I'm sitting here, ignored for the last 3 hours, and SCREAMING for attention. Haha. No, but really I've just been reading my magazines and catching up on my creeping, LOL.

Meghann, my SIL, got a cell phone on her mother's work plan [finally!!!] so we've been texting and google talking pretty constantly every day! It's so exciting to have someone other than Chris to talk to all day, not that I don't love our chats while he's slaving away for T-Mobile and I'm here, slaving away for him & Joshua. That's right, I'm still home. Going on 3 months of not working, and loving EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF BEING A MOMMY! I love being home with Joshua all day, even if it does drive me nutso sometimes! He's an amazing baby and I love him!!!

Anyway, probably should get something productive done today, but I'll really probably ust go lay on the couch and watch more video games [he's onto Fear 2 now... had his KillZone fix I guess].. take care :) 

lovies!

February...

January is over. The first month of 2009 finished quite amazingly for us actually. We finally got our refund from income taxes for me, which was quite hefty thankfully. We paid all of our bills for february, set aside money in savings and for my car payments for a few months, and splurged with some more of it. Joshua got a few new toys, and some clothes for spring && summer, and Chris & I both got new jackets and quite a bit of clothes and toys for ourselves! I also got a new digital camera! yay! that was exciting. We took my little brother Chris to Portland yesterday and stopped in Freeport along the way, that's where I got my new jackets, at North Face, I got 2. Luckily I can squeeze into a childrens XL, so I can get cheaper jackets than a women's S/M would be! Yay! Hehe. We also went into Polo, and both Chris & my brother got new polos, I got a sweater and 2 tank tops! then of course, Abercrombie, got a pair of pants & a long sleeve shirt! And we had to stop at Coach just to check it out see if the factory had anything nice... and Katie scored a new pair of sunglasses for under 100$! yay!! hehe. Best purchase of the day! Then we travelled to Cabella's and Chris got his new jacket there, it's really nice, black, and it's comfy! Off to the Maine Mall we went from there! We went to The Sports Authority, in search of our cousin Josh, who works as a manager there, but had no luck, so we browsed golf clubs and North Face hats, ended up leaving empty handed. Then I dragged the boys into Forever 21, and ended up getting tons of stuff! it was exciting to be able to purchase things I wanted! Then we browsed the rest of the mall for a bit, went to the Apple store of course, and the baby store to get Joshua a few outfits, and then headed out for lunch. We went to Macaronni Grill and had a great time. We really enjoy spending time with my little brother, he's a great kid!

After our drive home, we picked up Joshua at my mom's and dropped Chris Hamel off, and headed home. We were very happy to be home and relaxed all evening with Joshua. It's been a great start to 2009 so far and I'm just excited to see what the rest of it brings!!

Lovies!

Long Day. Long Night.

Somewhere between Joshua fussing all evening, my being annoyed with every thing occuring in my presence, and getting beyond frustrated with my ball of yarn which is now one giant knot, I realized that I wouldn't trade any of those annoyances for the world. All it took was Christopher laying Joshua down in our bed, my going into the room, and placing him into my arms to realize that this is what I love, this is what I need, it's where I belong, and it's what I was born to do. Between the 3 rounds of dishes, the sweet potatoes and banana yogurt I can still see on the carpet from dinner with Joshua, the 24 paused on the TV [thank GOD for tivo & dvr] due to Joshua's fussing and us not being able to handle it, I fell in love with my son and my hubby-to-be all over again. 

There are some days when I really think I just can't take it anymore, and I just want to curl up in a ball in my bed and cry. And yesterday, I had one of those days. Christopher had a bad day too, and thankfully, and I know I shouldn't say it that way, but thankfully, he was here for all of it. He got up with Joshua. He tended to his cries. He fed him. He changed him. He held him. He rocked him. I didn't touch a diaper or a bottle or an infant spoon until after 3 pm I'd say, and on the day I needed it most, Christopher really proved his daddy skills and his love for not only Joshua, but myself. I really don't know what I would have done without him yesterday, because he's the rock that holds me up, the half that a makes me whole, my best friend, the one I couldn't live without. I know I've got it right this time, and I've never been more proud of myself for the choices I've made in the last 6 months. Thank God I'm finally grounded, he does that to me, and he makes me sane. He saves me everyday! I love you Christopher Robert Hitchings!!!

and Joshua, though I cry, though I scream into my pillow, and shower for 35 minutes just to have those 35 minutes to myself, moving back the shower curtain to see you've opened the door  and are sitting in your walker waiting for me makes me realize that those minutes to myself, though precious and necessary, can never be replaced by the hours, weeks, and years I will spend with you. No matter how frustrated mommy gets, she's mommy, and that'll never change. She loves you with all she has. She will never give up, never give in, and never forget that you're her little boy, her angel, her miracle, and her baby. You're my son, my angel, my future, my love. I fall in love with your deep blue eyes all over again everyday. You make me smile with one touch, and laugh with one smile. Always remember that!!

So, now that it's 20 of 9, we have to be up at like 6 to get to Bangor on time for Christopher's doctors appointment at 820, so I guess we should finish this 24, and get to bed.

Lovies!

New Year, New Home, New Beginnings!

Well! 2009 is here! what a relief! I really am excited to begin a new year, with a new outlook on where my life is going. Having Joshua turned 2008 around for me, and it began a transformation I thought would never come. I've realized what's important in my life. Joshua is my number one priority, he is my savior, my light in the dark, and my main purpose for being here now. The midnight wakings and the early mornings are no longer a big deal to me, they are our special time, our bonding time. And I'll be honest, not having to jump each time in the night when he wakes up is a great help as well in me getting better and getting where I am now. Having Chris wake up to his crying and jump to go get his pacifier, or change his diaper and feed him a bottle to get back to sleep, is beyond helpful, it's really saving me from going crazy! We've been staying the night [and packing a bag every few days from my mothers house] since the end of of November, and finally this past week we got everything all moved in. All we really have left is the crib, but that's fine because Joshua sleeps just as well in his pack & play in his room as he would if the crib were here yet. Within the next few weeks we will get it from my mothers house though! So here I sit, a Thursday morning, Chris is at work, Joshua's taking a nap on our bed, and I'm watching What Not To Wear on our huge big screen tv, flipping through what's recorded on the DVR, and wondering if life could get more perfect... I really don't think at this point it could. Eventually, hopefully soon, I will find something for work, part time is what we are hoping for, and I'll be able to help with some of the bills, but for the time being, I couldn't think of a single complaint on life and how it is. Just this morning I got up before Chris, fed Joshua, packed Chris a lunch, cleaned off his car, did dishes, and felt more like a mother/live-in-girlfriend than I ever have in the 6 months I've been a mom. It's hard to believe how far our family has come in the last few months, having things going the way they are between Chris and I, having Chris turn himself into a father almost instantly, and having instant in-laws and extra grandparents [not to mention an Aunt, Uncle & 2 cousins] for Joshua is a blessing!

I'm so excited about what more will come in 2009! Hope everyone had a great, happy, safe new years and holiday season

loves!

New Years 2009 almost here!

Well! It's been another busy week for us! It's been a crazy month, December. and it's over tomorrow! Today Chris and I went to Augusta with Joshua to spend our Christmas gift cards on things for us/the apartment. I got a total of like 8 shirts and a pair of pants, he got a pair of pants... and we got the essentials we needed for our home: a microwave stand for the new microwave [thanks Rick & Rachel!], a few things for the desk in the front room [yeah, we moved it from the office, which is now Joshua's room!], mixing bowls, wine glasses, a few cute plastic bowls for Joshua, a teapot, and more hangers. 

Things have been pretty near perfect. There's a true connection between us that I wouldn't trade for the world. He said it best tonight when we were driving home from dropping the baby off at my mom's for the evening, he said that he likes that we can just be together, not doing anything, or not talking but doing our own things [i.e, last night he was playing video games and I was knitting on the couch], and just enjoy the time together. We've both never really had that before to the extent that we have fun doing nothing at all. We don't always need to be talking, but just relaxing and taking in the time we get to spend together. It's really something special. Falling asleep and waking up in his arms for every night for the last month+ has been amazing, and I know that moving in this week has only improved our relationship. We are so strong right now that I couldn't imagine us being stronger, but I do say this everyday. Quite like I say I couldn't be more in love with him, but everytime I say that I fall more and more. It's crazy! But I love every second of it! He is the half that makes me whole and my best friend here with me --love you Kiwi & Bethy, now come home so we can all be besties--

tonight we are spending the night in, just us. we're going to watch some Grey's until around 1130, then put on the NYE special and watch the ball drop together. I thoroughly enjoy every moment I spend with Christopher, and I look forward to many many many more happy years together!!! Hope everyone has a great NYE and stay safe and good luck in 2009!

loves!

And Christmas has passed...

Oh boy! What a Christmas! It was filled with so much love and laughter and joy and tons of FAMILY! Here's a recap...

Christmas Eve day we spent a bit of time with Chris's family, in the afternoon, and then headed out to my mom's. We got all the gifts together and headed over to the Tibbett's for our usual Christmas eve festivities. We ate, played with Joshua and Grady [Pete & Cara's little boy thats 4 months older than Joshua], opened gifts and enjoyed eachothers company as always. Joshua got so many cute toys! And Chris and I got movie tickets, a gift card to wal-mart, and I got some lotion and chapstick as well. It was a good time! Then we headed back to Skowhegan and got settled in for the night and waited on Santa Clause... Christmas morning we headed to Chris's parents [Rick & Rachel] around 815... we ate cinnamon rolls and drank LOTS of red drink! haha. Then Gram & Gramp [Rachel's parents] came over and we all gathered around the tree so Sophia and Poppa could hand out gifts! That was a fun time as well, as predicted. Joshua, again, got so many great toys! Thanks so much guys for spoiling him!! And not to brag or anything, but Chris & I had a great Christmas gift wise too.. Chris got from me a Giants shirt, a Boston Red Sox bobble head, a new North Face sweatshirt, a sweater and some new cologne. From Chris I got an outfit from American Eagle, a sweater, Grey's Anatomy seasons 2 &3, and.. oh yeah, UGGS! Finally I own a pair of Uggs! haha. From his parents I got a Bath & Body Works Warm Vanilla Sugar gift set, and from his sister a gift card to Target and some knitting supplies! After Christmas morning we headed out to Sidney to my Aunt Shelia & Aunt Jeans house to do my family Christmas with my mom's entire family! We were super busy!! We had lunch and opened gifts, which took nearly 2 hours - there was like 15 of us! Joshua got more new toys, which he loves so much! I got tons of gift cards and some money as well, which is always helpful!

But more importantly, we had an amazing Christmas being able to spend time together and with our families. I've never been in love like I am with Christopher, and I hope this feeling lasts a lifetime. I can't wait to finish moving in, to really start our life living together. He amazes me more & more everyday!! I am the luckiest girl in the world!!

Hope everyone had a great Holiday Season!

Loves!

standing cold and scared on top of blue hill...

Oh man! Today has been a day! It's so close to Christmas I can't believe it :)

So I went to Wal Mart today, not listening to the wonderful advised my someday-in-law's had given me that it was hell there and it took them forever to get out, I ended up being there way too long! I originally just went to grab the pictures I had printed off for Christmas gifts for family, and I ran into 1093028409 people I know. Okay, not that many, but a couple people from high school, a couple teachers, and then decided "Oh, well, I guess it would be nice to get my haircut today..." So I cut 4 inches off my hair and got the rest of it layered, I think it looks good but we will see when Christopher get's home from work -- he still has  NO IDEA! haha. Oh man. I had just left him, we had lunch at Quizno's because he worked today as usual and I joined him on his lunch break. Quizno's the place of our first meal together, so cute. Haha. Anywho, I think we are just about done our Christmas shopping finally. We really only have to get giftcards now for my parents and his sister and brother-in-law and a few frames for the rest of my family, then we will be done. We are running to Wal Mart when he gets out of work at 830, hopefully at that point it will have slowed down a bit! haha.

Joshua talked so much today! We were riding in the car and every 30 seconds I heard "ba, ma, gah, ba, gah, la , ka" in the backseat. I tried to keep him going but sometimes when I get involved he shut up, so I just let him "sing" along with the music! It's so cute! We also ran into his real fathers parents at Marden's, I'm really glad they got to see him, since they don't see him very often and haven't for almost 3 months now. They aren't really a part of our live, given his father doesn't have a thing to do with him or give a care about him and hasn't since day one, but it's still nice for them to see him every once and a while!

Meghann is coming on Tuesday, I've asked her to teach me her wonderful skill :: knitting :: I figured, it's useful, she's amazing at it, and it could help me pass time and I might really grow to love it. Meghann is a great person, I'm so lucky Chris has such an amazing sister!! Well, I guess I'll go get ready for Christopher to get here, only another hour! yay!

Loves!!